Ki does the darndest things – Complete and unabridged

Meet Ki. Short for Kiara. My hurricane of a three year old (My brother thinks I should have named her Katrina). I’m guessing she ‘ll feature a lot in this blog not only because she’s the offspring of Awesomeness herself (*bows to applause*), but she happens to be endowed with magical powers. For starters, she can be in two places at once. No, really.

I particularly recall a time when I was chatting with my boss on gtalk because I had taken work home that day. It was a typical work day – narrow deadline, high pressure, flying tempers, the works. Ki was in the room as I chatted, but unusually well behaved. She was all of two, at that time. I could have sworn I JUST saw her leave my room and switch on the tv in the living room. So I went over to my cupboard to pull out a few things – my back to the laptop. I turned back in what seemed like a few seconds, to find the little rascal typing away furiously on my laptop.

Here’s something like what I found in the chat window:

“wildorchid81 (Me): @#$F$%@$%^$%&!

Boss: what the hell?

Boss is offline. ”

I did not get fired and she DID speak my mind, but that’s besides the point.

So yes, back to what I was saying. She can be in two places at once. Ask Linda Goodman,* if you don’t believe me.

What she can also do, is make me wish at certain times, that the earth would crack open and swallow me up.

We were at our regular coffee place. She was about 2 and a half years old, but talked a lot more than her peers. I was going through a very stressful patch and tended to space out into my parallel universe every now and then. I remember she was sitting by my side and talking nineteen to the dozen in her broken English. The next thing I knew, I had just snapped out of my reverie to find my daughter holding out the sanitary napkins from my bag to a doting audience right opposite.
I THOUGHT it couldn’t have gotten worse. Till she said the magic words:

“This is mamma diaper.”

And that’s the REAL story behind her more recent and toned down “Mamma let’s go to Coffee World. Wear your diaper and come.”

Then of course, there are the bonus ‘simply cute’ days.

After a few months of pre-school and after having witnessed three weddings in a row:

Ki: *Drapes a shawl around her head* Mamma, mamma! I got married!

Me: To whom, princess?

Ki: Vyas (her classmate). Vyas shared with me his juice today. Vyas loves me.

Should I be worried!? :):)

And, the latest. This happened this afternoon. She’s into make-believe right now, so here goes:

Ki: *Prancing from the loo* I’m only mamma. You are only Kiara.

Me: *Playing along* Mamma!! Come and play puzzle with me!!!

Ki: Wait princess. I’ll wear my panty and come.

I haven’t found the right word for this moment.

More coming up. Stay tuned. For the next 18 years.

*I am not propogating Linda Goodman. Her description just happened to be spot on!

3 thoughts on “Ki does the darndest things – Complete and unabridged”

  1. OMG Judy!!! This blog is hysterical!! Kiara sounds like quite a handfull.. I mean that in the nicest way possible! Enjoy these days with her Judy, before you know it she’ll be all grown up and start to take herself too seriously

  2. Thanks Meera =) I really should learn to savour every stage. I’m usually wishing for the next stage so desperately, but when we get there, it comes with its own trouble package!

  3. Judy.. Your little girl totally amazes me.. I am still laughing.. She must be one super kid!

    Can’t wait for my 9 month old girl to grow up soon 😉

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