Trials of a Working Mother

Let me begin by saying I envy you stay at home moms. Not for any other reason other than the fact that you never miss out on a single moment in your child’s life. No matter what age your child is, I don’t think they ever stop needing you and you’ll be there for them. For me the case is quite different. I grew up in a family that believed that as I woman I needed to have as much ambition as my brothers. I was encouraged to study and work as hard as I could. I started working at a very young age and found no trouble in climbing the corporate ladder. I got married 8 years ago and had a baby boy after 6 years of marriage.

After I had my son, I wouldn’t say that my career drive diminished, I’d say my mother drive increased. Even when I started my maternity leave, I worked from home right until 3 days before my delivery. After my son’s birth, within 3 weeks I was online again catching up with all the pending work. My company is great and they’ve been very supportive. The things is that in today’s world I think we’re able to structure our lives such that we can at least try to do it all. That’s what I did. I saw no sense in giving up so many years of sheer grit and determination to get to where I am today, just because I’d had a baby. I mean, millions of moms do it everyday right? And it wasn’t like I would be leaving my son with a babysitter or a total stranger.. he would be looked after by my mom. So I rationalized all these things and went back to work.

The first day that I had to get ready and walk out the door, it tore my heart in two. I felt like a reluctant child on the 1st day of school. Twice I went all the way to the car and came back because I thought I heard Anshul cry. When I got to work, I called my mom every 7 mins to check if everything was ok. I worried so much. What if she went for a bath and he woke up? What if she fell asleep? My mom is great and these fears were totally unfounded but still, I made myself sick with worry. By 3pm that day I had worried so much that I felt drained and headed home. Yes, its been getting better and Anshul had adjusted well. I think I’ve had a tougher time adjusting, than he has.

No matter how great technology gets, the absence of a mother is the absence of a mother. There’s no two ways about it. I think it’s a challenge for all working parents to spend hours away from their children when all we really want to do is cuddle them n’ play all day. I love it when I come home after a long day at work and Anshul will make his way to the door and jump into my arms. He does this every single day. I still feel guilty every now and then for missing out on such a huge part of his early years and I know he misses me when I’m gone but I like to think of it this way. Either I can stay at home and be a doting mom or I can work hard and give Anshul the best that this life has to offer, while still feeling like a wholesome and satisfied woman. Makes sense doesn’t it? At least for now it does.

10 thoughts on “Trials of a Working Mother”

  1. Yes, it is a very hard decision. Since I am a working mother too, I understand what you are going through. In this day and age, it is important that a woman works too!

  2. Yes,I am too going through the same phase. I am mother of 1 1/2 year old baby boy. Always I feel guilty when I leave him crying and come to office.

  3. I was also working untill my son was 1 .5 yrs old , but left the job as I am not having any support system(either my parents or my inlaws), and maid servents were not taking care of my son properly.
    Donot know how to get back to my career and when.

  4. I am nearing there…Yet to take a decission on whether to continue work after delivery. Since I work in S/W it demands a whole lot of my time at office as well..fingers crossed ..

  5. Pingback: Calvin

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