Children of about 2 years of age and above are generally considered 'older' in adoptive parlance. And adopting an older child can be a different kind of challenge. It is almost like bringing home a full-fledged individual with a definite past and a set behavioral pattern. But on the bright side, you are spared the nappy routine, late-night feeds and colic!

When bringing an older child home, the adoptive parents need to be ready to accept the child unconditionally, whatever the child's emotional past may be. Remember, the child could be from an orphanage or foster home with painful memories - but now that she is in your family, a new chapter has begun, and here's how you can help the child settle down.

Expect the Unexpected
Prepare yourself by reading and browsing the Internet for articles on the effects of long-term abuse and neglect, adoption and family adjustments. Try to meet other adoptive families or join a support group before you bring the child home. Assuming that child has attachment issues that need to be worked out could also help, as it will facilitate a smooth integration into your home.

Avoid Sensory Overload
The arrival of the child may be a 'dream come true' for you, but do understand that for the child, this is a new home with new people and a new life! So do not dramatize the situation and go into overdrive - by taking the child out all the time, or exposing him to too many things. Retain normalcy and simplicity, and let the bond develop naturally. In fact, it is even better to keep his life boring for the first few weeks or months!

Assume the Child is Younger
Whether your child is from a foster home or an orphanage, there may be developmental, social, and psychological "steps" that he could have missed. By treating him a few years younger, you could reduce any pressures that he could be feeling. This will also allow the child to live and learn from the stages that he missed.

Help your child work out his pain
Allow your child to talk about his worst fears, happiest moments and insecurities - and let him take his time to overcome the pain. Do not participate in family gatherings unless the child is comfortable with the inner family core. You can help by sharing your past with the child and rationalizing your reason for adoption.

Show Love and Care
You and your new child could have missed out on the baby and toddler interactions that usually occur between parent and child. So shower your child with love, sing lullabies, read nursery rhymes, tell bedtime stories and demonstrate in simple ways that you care. Even much older children often have a need to pass through these stages with their new parents.

Have Fun
Do everything possible to find moments to laugh together, share a giggle, or play a game. It will help you discover your child's unique qualities, and help your child understand that life is a blend of various emotions and different activities. And together, you can help your child rebuild dreams of a healthy family life.

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