Is your child shy?

If you’re worried about your child being shy, you’re not alone. Shyness is a common childhood trait and there’s nothing overly to be worried about. Often parents are apologetic about their child and hold themselves responsible when the child clams up and buries his head in the company of friends and relatives.  This is perfectly normal and no reason for serious concern at all. Remember, all kids are not made the same way. Some are bashful, others boisterous. Shyness is more a personality trait, than a flaw.

When shyness is a positive trait

If you bubbly, chirpy and cheerful child turns quiet and mum all of a sudden in the company of strangers, should you be anxious? As long as your child is happy and doesn’t throw a tantrum, there is absolutely no need for concern. Often shyness is equated with low self-esteem. But people fail to see the inner-peace and quiet confidence that exists within the child.  Shy people are attentive listeners, deep thinkers and very focused in their thoughts and actions. They exude an inner strength and a solid unshakeable persona that often earns them respect from others. Shy children are also cautious. They give a lot of thought before taking decisions, especially before getting into relations. My daughter’s teacher used to complain about her not mingling easily and making friends. Initially we were concerned and upset, but later realized that she just took a little longer to warm up and come out of her shell. And once she did, there was no looking back.

When shyness is a cause for worry

When a child is excessively shy and insecure, it reflects in his or her behavior. She remains withdrawn and reclusive and avoids eye-to-eye contact. She makes people around him feel uncomfortable and sometimes could even be labeled anti-social. This behavior can interfere with the child’s ability to learn, develop interests and establish relationships. All this often stems from a deep rooted inner pain resulting in insecurity and low self-worth.

Helping a child come out of his shy shell

Be prepared with loads of patience: Whatever be the reason for your child’s shyness, psychologists say, the best approach to treat this behavior is to be slow and deliberate. It sure is a long haul but patience is key, because there is no quick magic solution to this.

Love – the universal formula: Shy children need a lot of TLC and attention. Gestures like hugging and making them feel wanted will put them at ease and raise their confidence. So shower as much love you can and spend time with them.

Don’t belittle: Don’t call the child “shy’ in front of others. This will not only crush her confidence but also make the child think that’s something is wrong with her. If you must, then “reserved”, “quiet” or private would be a more accurate way of describing her.

Keep him busy: Another surefire way to boost your child’s self-confidence is to keep her busy and engaged in activities she enjoys doing the most. As a mother, it’s easy to recognize her passion. So it is imperative that you go all out and support her.

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